This article originally appeared as ‘Ten Ways to Recovery from Divorce or Breakup.’ This blog will be the first part of that article. The other parts will follow along with a forum dialogue by clicking this Group Face Book page.
If you know someone who can benefit from this and the follow up blogs please send this to them.
Dealing with the loss after divorce, separation or a significant relationship can break your heart! It is one of the most painful and emotional times you can ever experience. Recovering from a relationship loss can be a very hard and treacherous road. Some people never get over it. Others may have moved on from their breakup, but still carry the memories and pain with them.
Many wonder if they’ll ever get past the loss and be able to trust again. Below are ten ways to help you recover from your relationship breakup and experience hope and healing now and in the future!
1. Understand your emotions and assumptions.
People going through relational loss experience a wide range of emotions, from sadness, to depression to anger. Some assume that their emotions indicate that they’re out of control. It’s normal to have varying degrees of emotions when you’re in grief. Your emotions are neutral, normal and natural. They are simply signals of what you are feeling.
It’s okay to have all these types of emotions, it’s not abnormal. Although your emotions can be overwhelming, know that they will change. It takes time to process your grief. You don’t need to be in a hurry. You don’t have to bring closure to your circumstances right now.
2.Understand the grief over the loss of your relationship.
When our hopes and dreams are shattered, it’s not simple to quickly move on. Regardless if we’re the respondent or initiator we need to process our grief. While there is no formula or time frame to grieving our losses we can learn from our pain. Embrace your pain. Don’t run from it, learn from it.
Know that your heart, your dreams and your hopes can be revived. It’s never too late to start over!
3. Understand that blaming your former does not help you or your kids.
While you may have legitimate reasons to blame your former or others for your loss it will not help you accept your circumstances and move on. While today’s culture popularizes blame into an art form and it might seem understandable for you to blame someone for something, it will only prolong your pain. While it’s easy to do, don’t indulge in self-pity. It will make you more discontented and push people away. Starting over begins with you, not the other person.
4. Live one day at a time.
We cannot predict the long-term future, let alone next week. You cannot control what tomorrow may bring, but you can control how you respond. How many of your worries pertain to today? How many of your worries can you do anything about? How many of your worries are really your responsibility?
Many want instant healing, but it doesn’t happen overnight. Take one step at a time one day at a time. Plan wisely, but live for today and not for tomorrow. Tomorrow will come. Even a bad day can make a good story, depending on your perspective.
Join us for the continuation of this article on the next blog. Please leave your questions or comments below this blog or email them to me at the below address or check the Face Book address above
With Hope,
Mark
Mark@startingoverworkshops.com
