In the last blog we began letting go of some stuff in our travel bag so we can travel lighter. Letting go is not easy, it’s difficult. It’s a hassle to go through our bag, especially on-site at the airport counter. We can be more prepared. We need to know how to unpack and repack pack more wisely for our trip. Yes, while less is more, we don’t want to miss packing three important items for our life journey.
Relational Dynamics to Help You on Your Trip
1. Understand what happened in the relationship
In order for you to move on and develop healthy relationships you need to look back and understand what happened to contribute to a broken relationship. This is the part of your journey where you’ll have to be extremely honest with yourself. It will do you no good to blame someone else.
You need to clearly understand the dynamic you and your significant other created together or that you brought with you and clearly trace the threads of the events that led to the shipwreck. Do some self- inventory.
2.Understand the truth about yourself
This truth is important because it builds on the previous dynamic. Jonathon Edwards, one of America’s most brilliant minds said, “Of all kinds of knowledge that we can ever obtain, the knowledge of God and the knowledge of ourselves are the most important.”
The positive result of knowing the truth about ourselves is that it can free us to start over no matter how bleak it is. When we honestly look inside our hearts there are things we are not pleased with. This could be depressing if we stopped here.
But God is good and desires to redeem our choices
We all have blind spots. How often do we hear, mistakes were made, but not by me? Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” It’s not that many don’t have the time to examine their lives, they just avoid it.
In contrast, people who do examine their lives and think about where they’ve been, how they got there, and where they’re going, will be more prepared for life’s journey. No one has all the answers and no one’s life is free from trouble and strife. Yet, those who know who where they came from (created in God’s image), who they belong to and why they’re here are in a very fertile place to grow.
So, how about you? If you apply these dynamics you’ll all be better off and those around you will appreciate it. What is it that I could be holding on to? A failed relationship, poor choices, or hurtful words I’ve spoken? Thank God we can know God’s assurance of His forgiveness. I John 1:9
3. Understand Your Unrealistic Expectations
Israel wanted ‘the land flowing with milk and honey’ as God promised, but just not the way He was going about it. They didn’t want to wait for His timing. Could that be true with US? We just want to inherit the land, we want the territory that God said we have coming to us, the fertile ground and all that comes with it.
Many think they have a relationship coming to them that they deserve. Now let’s pretend that you have some particular qualities you want in a significant other. According to a poll of thousands of American single adults the top five qualities were:
1) physical appearance 2) honesty 3) character 4) personality 5) sense of humor
So you have a list of what you hope to find in a relationship… Now, take that list and make it a mirror and not a microscope. May it not be a list of a potential mate, but a standard for you to become. Become your list. Be honest, who do you want to become?
We all want to experience love, but unfortunately when we don’t fully grasp our need for God’s love we look for love everywhere else and ignore loving others. If I have the perspective of, “God bless my desire to have that kind of person in my top 5,” I put on the ball and chain again…
Now, go lighten your bag and look into the mirror and be the person you want someone else to be for you. Most importantly, be the person God wants you to be!
