All of us have had losses and been mistreated.
David had lost his position with the King. He lost his wife, He lost his mentor. He lost his best friend and even his self-respect. Now, he was being hunted down by King Saul, whom he had so faithfully served. Life is not fair.
David had been unjustly accused of treason and almost everything else under the sun by Saul. David, along with his band of brothers we’re living in the desert wilderness of Engedi. Day in and day out they waited for King Saul’s next attempt on David’s life. David did not choose this. It wasn’t his fault.
David stayed in the wilderness strongholds and in the hills of the Desert of Ziph. Day after day Saul searched for him, but God did not give David into his hands. I Samuel 23:14
We may not be in a physical wilderness, but in a circumstantial one. While in the wilderness we’re not in control and things can be unpredictable. Like David, we too may be exhausted from years of abuse and have plenty of reason for retaliation. We may have friends who encourage us to get even for all we have put up with all these years.
An opportunity for getting even
David gets the perfect opportunity for retaliation. His men tell him to go for it, just do it, get it over with and give Saul what he really deserves.
In a heated argument he tells his men not to retaliate. David can exact revenge, but he spares the King’s life and only cuts off the corner of his robe. Right afterwards, David asks Saul, “Why are you unjustly accusing and pursuing me?” David does the right thing and asks Saul face to face, not to his men or by email or Twitter.
Saul admits to David, “you’re a better man than me.” Duh? Sadly, nothing changes, Saul’s envy and jealousy of David remained and he was vehemently determined to take David out.
What can we learn from David when we justify retaliation?
Like David, we too have been mistreated, neglected and falsely accused. They’ve done wrong to me and now it’s their time to suffer. The desire for revenge is one of life’s most subtle temptations. Getting even seems to be the conventional wisdom of our day. We may even call it ‘our rights.’ Hatred, revenge, and resentment can reduce us to ‘the one who did that awful thing to me.’
Getting rid of vengeance starts with forgiveness
Maybe you’re feeling resentful from the way you’ve been treated? If you are you still holding it against that person you need to forgive them. How? Perhaps this true story can help.
Corrie Ten Boom’s family was sent to Nazi concentration camps for hiding Jews in their home. After the war in1947 Corrie was sharing God’s forgiveness in a church in Munich. She writes,
It was there I saw him – a balding, heavyset man in a gray overcoat. It was 1947 and I had come from Holland to defeated Germany with the message that God forgives. It was the truth they needed most to hear in that bitter, bombed-out land. The solemn faces that stared back at me, not quite daring to believe stood up in silence, collected their things and left the room.
And that’s when I saw him. One moment I saw the overcoat and the brown hat; the next, a blue uniform and a visored cap with its skull and crossbones. It came back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead lights; the pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor; the shame of walking naked past this man. I could see my sister’s frail form ahead of me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment skin. Betsie, how thin you were!
Betsie and I had been arrested for concealing Jews in our home during the Nazi occupation of Holland; this man had been a guard at Ravensbruck concentration camp where we were sent.
Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: ‘A fine message, Fräulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!’ And I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me, of course—how could he remember one prisoner among those thousands of women?
But I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. I was face-to-face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze. You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk,’ he was saying, ‘I was a guard there.’ No, he did not remember me.
‘But since that time,’ he went on, ‘I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fräulein,’ again the hand came out—’will you forgive me?’
And I stood there—I whose sins had again and again been forgiven could not forgive. Betsie had died in that place—could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking? It could not have been many seconds that he stood there—hand held out—but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do. Forgive him.
For I had to do it, I knew that. I knew it not only as a commandment of God, but as a daily experience. Since the end of the war I had had a home in Holland for victims of Nazi brutality. Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were able also to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives, no matter what the physical scars. Those who nursed their bitterness remained invalids. It was as simple and as horrible as that.
And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an emotion—I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. ‘Help!’ I prayed silently. ‘I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.
And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.
‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried. ‘With all my heart!’ For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely, as I did then.
Allow God to step into your story too. When life’s subtle temptation for revenge draws you in refuse to give into it. You’ll never regret forgiving someone who doesn’t deserve it!
Read more about what God has to say about taking vengeance here.
