In our age of entitlement many believe that they don’t deserve to be alone – “I’m entitled to a relationship…” I love Warren Weirsbe’s definition of loneliness, “Loneliness is the malnutrition of the soul that comes from living on substitutes.” When we replace substance with substitutes like lust for love; affluence for true spiritual wealth and power for peace the end result is separation and loneliness.
Substitutes can be our work, medications and filling our calendars.
What do you do when you’re feeling lonely? Shop, watch way too much TV, drink too much, over-eat, pity yourself or engage with trusted friends or in some in community? When you are feeling lonely here are a few positive choices you can make.
Engage with a supportive community
Whether it’s family or group of friends we need relationships that matter. We all have a longing for belonging and if you’re a Christ follower God desires for you to engage with a local body of believers to do life with.
Now you are no longer strangers to God and foreigners to heaven, but you are members of God’s very own family, citizens of God’s country, and you belong in God’s household with every other Christian. Ephesians 2:19 LB
The entire Bible is a study of God building a family who will honor and reign with Him forever. If you’re like me you’ve discovered that your spiritual family can be far more important than your physical family. Your spiritual family can have a stronger union than you own blood relationships.
God sets the lonely in families… Psalm 68:6
This verse is not for orphans but for all of us! God knows we all need to be in biblically functioning healthy communities. If this is not you, seek out a supportive faith community.
Engage with close friends
Statistics reveal that lonely people live significantly shorter lives than the general population. We all need friends. God created us for relationship and no matter how self-sufficient we are we need friends. Friends are a part of God’s plan for us. Jesus modeled friendship at its’ best and much of his time was spent in deepening relationships with a few, not the masses.
Significant friendships take time to develop. Real friends take time to listen. Friends sacrifice and are transparent and are honest with us about our stuff too. If you don’t have these kinds of friendships it’s never too late to seek out them out. Most likely, someone will not knock on your door and ask to be your friend. Reach out and avail yourself with places where you can be a friend to someone. Proverbs reminds us that, “He who has friends must himself be friendly.” When you’re feeling lonely…
Engage with God
As important as good friends and family are God has unlimited resources. Recognize that when you’re feeling lonely you really do matter to God even if it feels otherwise. You’re valuable to Him. He knows your name.He is well aware of your past, present and current situation. He knows all the choices you have made and are about to make and all your hard work.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Psalm 139:2-3
He knows you’re your disappointments, fears and tears.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. Isaiah 41:10 In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33
Others may leave us, but God never will? Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 That’s a promise you can stake your life on.
