Rabbi Joseph Telushkln, author of Words That Hurt, Words That Heal, has lectured throughout country on the powerful and often negative impact of words. He often asks audiences if they can go 24 hours without saying any unkind words about, or to another person.
Invariably, a small number of listeners raise their hands with a “yes.” Others laugh, and quite a large number call out. “no!” The Rabbi says that, “If you cannot go 24 hours without saying unkind words about others, then you have lost control over your tongue.”
Words do have the power to heal or to harm. The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit (Prov. 18:21). Our words can bring delight or destruction, hurt or encouragement What kind of words do you speak? All of us have said things we wish we hadn’t.
Our words can be liberating or distance us from others who are closest to us. If you speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret. Proverbs tells us that out of the overflow of our heart the mouth speaks.
Words mean a lot to God. He created the world with His spoken word. God says He hates hurtful words (Prov.6:16-19), but that encouraging words are like “apples of gold in settings of silver” (Prov. 25:11). That sounds nice, but apparently difficult to do. Many never learn to control their tongues.
James says that our tongue can be as destructive as a forest fire (James 3:5-6). After a South Dakota fire had burned over 80,000 acres Janice Stevenson told federal investigators that, ”after the match that I threw on the ground started a small fire, rather than putting it out I drove away.” The Bible says our words can be just as destructive.
Our words can promote healing by understanding and changing their impact.
First, we need to understand the emotional and mental impact of our words.
Reckless words pierce like a sword…Prov. 12:18a Words injure us, they get inside of us. They can be unintended verbal terminators that can break someone’s spirit. What about you, have you ever wished you could take some of your words back? Before you speak consider…
Gentle words are a tree of life; but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (Prov.15:4). The tongue of the wise brings healing (Prov.12:18b).
Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up…Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time…Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. Prov. 16:24 Prov. 12:25; 15:23; 16:24
Secondly, our words impact our relationships.
For many of us our mouth has been the shipwreck of many of our relationships. All of us have blown it, so tune and listen. We all need to be far more careful with our words and to whom we speak them to.
British shock jock Tim Shaw may have finally learned a valuable lesson about the consequences of our words. While working his usual 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. shift, Shaw told the pin-up girl he was interviewing—on air—that he was willing to leave his wife and two kids for her.
Minutes later, his wife Hayley, created an eBay auction for her husband’s car, a Lotus Turbo. The auction page was almost completely blank except for a picture of the car and the following words: “I need to get rid of this car immediately—ideally in the next 2-3 hours before my cheating jerk husband gets home to find it gone and all his belongings in the street, you can pick it up tonight.”
The car-valued at approximately $45,000-was listed with a Buy-lt-Now for fifty pence or about 90 cents. The auction lasted exactly 5 minutes and 3 seconds before anonymous buyer paid for it and drove away. A later interview with reporters, Mrs. Shaw said that she was, “sick of Tim constantly disrespecting our family for the sake of his act.”
When asked about the price of the Lotus she said, “I just wanted to get him back.” Four days after the car was sold, the anonymous buyer left the following feedback on Mrs. Shaw’s eBay account: “Thank you, Hayley, the car is excellent and thank your hubby.” What we say does have consequences.
Find out more how our words impact our present and future in the next blog. Question: How have the words of another—positive or negative—impacted your life? You can leave a comment below.
With Hope,
Mark
