Due the Waldo Canyon fires and its’ impact it has been over two months since the last blog from the series ‘Relationships: Connecting the Dots. The series began way back in May with Love’s Illusions and the 3 E’s of Love to the last part entitled Emotional Entanglements between Men and Women in mid June just before the fire. Please accept our apology for taking so long to come back to it.
Although challenging, there are ways to handle previously discussed danger signs as well as causes of emotional entanglements. In order to benefit you the most please refer to the previous blogs above to have the right context for this blog.
The Restoring of Your Emotional Health
First, in order to restore my emotional health I need to acknowledge that my emotional health needs to be restored and maintained. Now, most of us think we’re fairly smart when it comes to relationships, we know what we’re doing, yet the stats show otherwise. I’m hoping that you would agree that most of can use some help when it comes to having the best possible relationships.
I need to acknowledge I really do need help. The Apostle Paul (Romans 7:15-19) openly admitted he needed help. Should it be any different with you and me? I know it sounds old, but how many times as a friend or a pastor have I heard something like, “____ talks to me like no one ever has, I feel so alive and exhilarated, it just has to be right, I know it,” and the rest is history.
Secondly, I need to take action immediately if I want to be on an intentional healthy path. In 1914 Sir Ernest Shackleton’s amazing expedition of Antarctica came to a very decisive point after having to abandon their ship the Endurance when it became stuck and eventually crushed in the ice. Thus far, they had taken about 475 photos preserved on glass which would be eventually sold and published around the world of the never before scenes of the brutal, but beautiful continent.
Shackleton made the choice of destroying many of the irreplaceable photos so he wouldn’t be tempted to go back later for them and risk the lives of his men. He made a courageous decision. There are times we have to take similar action to make the hard choices now to stay on the path of health. Say no to those unhealthy patterns that have gotten you in the situation you would rather not be in.
Thirdly, seek an accountable same sex friend for counsel who can honestly process your struggles with you. Get help from a competent therapist if needed. Have the guts to admit you can’t go it alone, that you need help a confidant.
Fourthly, get in community where you can be encouraged, challenged and equipped to stay on the path of good relational choices.
Maintaining your Emotional Health
Being a compassionate giving person and desiring to meet the needs of others by listening are admirable traits. But when our listening lacks discernment we can get in big trouble. While we may feel flattered if we hear,”I’m struggling with my feelings for you” or the lingering touch from a married person or another unavailable person we need to walk away or change the conversation quickly. Don’t cave in to the alluring comment.
When you seek relational counsel from someone don’t just ask any friend, especially with an opposite sex friend who might have a subtle hidden agenda. You might feel a friend is well meaning, but perhaps your friend’s counsel is flawed. Use wise discernment when it comes to counsel.
The majority of American adults today are single. Yet, we live in a couples oriented culture that promotes and can even pressure you to believe that your significance is only when you’re in a relationship with the opposite sex. Think of FB’s status posts “in a relationship.” Unfortunately, this makes it easier and more acceptable to have unhealthy relationships.
Too many spend so much time looking for the right person they spend little or no time in becoming person. It’s understandable that many desire to married or have someone in their lives for God has wired us to be in relationship, in a community.
We all want to love us, to belong to someone, to be loved and to love. The truth is you already are. YOU are deeply loved by God! The cry of your heart is the faint echo of God’s love for YOU! He looks for ways to convey His extravagant love to you. His love is far more passionate than any passionate person you’ll ever meet.
God gave Himself for YOU in every imaginable way. It took a whole lot of passion to show His love for YOU. Just look at the cross. What passionate lover has given their life for you? There’s only ONE and His love wants you to know how to restore and maintain your emotional health now and in the future.
Your comments are greatly appreciated.
